My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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