Having a random hookup so left but love u
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
