yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
