I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
