come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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