p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
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I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize