i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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