U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
