This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
