Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I can't turn off my feet"
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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