I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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