Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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