New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
We were destined to go to rehab together
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize