can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
