Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
