Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
