Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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