Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
