I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
And then he peed in my hair
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