My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
4 words: hood of his car
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
