Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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