I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Drake has all the answers
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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