do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
