Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
MIDGETS
????
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
