I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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