Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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