dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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