I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
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