I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Randomize
