i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
