You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
