Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
