why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
