I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize