I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
How many fucks given?
0.12846
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
