Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
