We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
