My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
