All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
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