Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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