we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
