Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
