Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
