Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
