I love black thongs
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
