wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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