when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
