Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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