I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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