I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
