I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
