So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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