I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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