What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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