I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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