i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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