You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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