I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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