you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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