actually, I'm a sock model
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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