Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
