I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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