He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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