College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
