Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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