i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
