I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
